It turns out that I just need to shut up and stop worrying about the future and, "Just do it." Whatever, "it," is.
I've stopped worrying about comparing my art to others. It was a thing that had been making me feel less me, longing to be as "good" as the other students, but now that I'm not even surrounded by Art Majors, it's easier because our first painting went really well for almost everyone. Critiquing in class together helps with that because some of those people can realize, "Hey, I'm not so bad after all."
I don't even know where my brain is when I'm thinking about a future career. I guess it is safe to say that I'm working my way up to one, but sometimes I would just love to know where I'm headed. To have it all planned out already. I guess I could try, but then what? Something goes wrong in my plans and I end up somewhere else. But I guess that failure can just be one of those goals you write on a sheet of paper, that end up not being what is right for you anyways.
I have stopped straightening my hair with a hot iron. It gives me an image of myself that I like, but it's just not natural. I like natural. If I want straighter hair...I'll take a shower in the morning and have it air dry instead of sleeping on it and getting faux cow licks. Ha ha ha! Can't sell that on eBay can you?!
So...Myspace. You just might lose another customer. I told myself that the only reason I still had it was because of the music I could put on it. But guess what?! I don't even listen to it, and now I've got Pandora, and I'll never not have Cd's to listen to. Music is a big slice of pie in my life, and without Myspace, I'll be okay without the small sliver of cherry gooooo b/c if you want a small sliver, chances are you'll lose the crust. That's saying that you wont get as much musical pleasure out of Myspace as you could a boom box. I still have mine! But I painted it black. Oh the things I do when I'm bored.
I rearranged my room at home last weekend. It went well all by myself. I needed a change in the atmosphere of my life in a room. I just like to be alone sometimes, and that's even if it means my parents are out and I have no one to help me move my furniture around. They wouldn't have helped anyways because the weekend before that I talked about it and no one was up for helping. Nope. But when they get back and everything is looking good in a new place there is praise for how nice it looks and no, "sorry we couldn't help." Whatever. I never got too deep into thought about that before this bloggy poo.
One thing I don't quite understand about myself is how I feel weird when having to face people when doing good deeds. Like going to nursing homes. I'm not into that sort of thing. I'd rather get dirty painting a fence. I'm totally referring to SMAD. "Students Making A Difference." I haven't made any difference yet due to last semester's need to go home every time we had something planned. Geez self, what's up?
I seriously love being an artist I just realized. Being able to whip out ink and my sketchbook and make an assignment for myself and just do it feels great. Granted, I should be cleaning my desk off. Whatever! I love what I can do! God's gift to me and I accept it with great pride.
I wouldn't mind learning how to make tarts. The queen of hearts ate a tart. Isn't their some type of riddle like that? Ha ha, I don't know. A riddle...Something to solve hidden in a children's nursery rhyme...sick. Anyways...thought I had some sort of epiphany.
Elephant=Epiphany...not so much...but that's what it made me think of b/c I doubt I have ever written out the word "epiphany" before.
*The picture is from when I went to Colorado with Brianna...I thought February should have a hint of snow...though i really love this weather.
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